Hear me out

I'm tired inside and outside. I'm about to continue to go on with this awesome life of mine, but things must go wrong again. This time, I have issues with people around me. Is this part of growing up?

Papa & Mama, I know we are quite poor, no stable income, just depending on pension and people's donation for praying. Its just frustrating when money is the big issue here. It caused both of you to argue even more often and I'm sick of it. I'm affected too, Mr. & Mrs. Tan.

Papa, you are the backbone of the family. You have to stay strong no matter what, not by saying stupid things like "hanging myself the next morning". I'm your daughter, how would you think I feel? You think death is funny. You keep saying you are gonna leave us soon throughout these years. I know everybody have to go one day, but it doesn't mean you have to talk about it. It's sensitive, it can cause a broken heart and tearful eyes.

Plus, by dying, it wouldn't help our financial crisis, Papa. You are so gonna be a burden! Think again, Papa. Frankly speaking, funeral also cause money! Its not FREE-OF-CHARGE to die okay. You are gonna make things worse. Might as well, all four of us happy family go to hell together right? No need to mourn too much. Friends and relatives won't even care.

Papa's hot temper is killing me nowadays. Mama's attitude too. Why the people I love suddenly turn annoying? It is so depressing to face them when they are not happy.

I'm affected. I sometimes become the victim for a small matter too. I'm overprotected and I've been feeling heavily pressured by my family problem.

I wanna run away. My heart says it out just now.

But I know I can't, because I got no money and I have no where to go. Who would ever want me after all?

Enough. Enough. Please be matured.

and owh.. my mum just puked... :S