Today.

I didn't have a fully good sleep.
Punching pillow with anger, holding back tears. I hate my tears. I do not want to cry.
I dreamed about my ex-boyfriend kissing me on the cheek. Anyway, its just a dream that will never come true. So I do no want to say anything bout that.

Today I'm awake, to move on with strength.
I know, from this moment, I'm no longer his girlfriend, no longer own a place in his heart. Someone took my place. A better someone, or else he wouldn't have given that stupid girl a chance. I hate her though I don't know her. She kinda messed up my relationship with him. THANK YOU. Problems about to be solved but he must bring in a third party. HOW LOVELY. this is why I blame it all on you Kitts. Cheating is the worst part of all. You don't want me, tell it straight to my face. No need to date another fucking woman behind my back. Everytime I imagine them, it feels like a bullet shot into my heart.

My body is heaten up. I'm shaking, shivering. Why??
I still can feel my own anger. I slept with this awkward feeling... Still can't believe that he actually CHEAT on me.
I feel like punching his face and slapping that bitch. Ahh..nevermind. God will punish them for me. I don't need to do anything. NUMB. I'm falling sick again. No appetite.

Don't worry bout me, friends. I will be fine. Won't think of committing suicide anymore. I will live my day, endure the pain of a broken heart. Don't need to introduce any guys to me. I'm fine on my own. I do not want to lovc anymore. Ahh..I feel like vomiting now. Am I really ill? Maybe.

Dear friends, no matter who you are, best friend to old friend to ex-schoolmate to college friends, even strangers.. I love you. Thanks for supporting me. I need to be surrounded by all of you, not just one person. I don't want to be alone by myself for too long, in order to avoid negative thinking. Don't wanna die too soon.

P/s: its a bloody trend to cheat on your partner.

This is a suitable song for me. Tob Tuan means rearrange everything in your life, start all over again. I feel what she sings. Thai song.